Last Sunday night with leaders showed me that the ¨family sytem¨in the church has taken a major shift. There was so much laughter, joking, and enjoying one another even in the midst of a conflict and some administrative caos.
Whitaker, author of ¨Family Crucible, defined the dysfunctional family as ". . . characterized by a very limited sense of the whole" (p. 194). Lack of flexibility at times of change, covert communication, intolerance of conflict, lack of spontaneity, lack of empathy, blaming and scapegoating, a lack of playfulness, and little sense of humor are all markers of unhealthy families from Whitaker's perspective.¨
That could easily define our leaders group a couple of years ago. But our work on remaining non'anxious, defined and yet in touch with all has brought us to a very new enjoyment of our church family.
Rilke's letters to a young poet, "Have patience with everything unresolved and try to love the questions themselves." I would add: "Try to love the questioners as well."